Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Jesus-in-the-Middle: How One Foible Rabbi Corrupted Geopolitics

A Reflection on Israeli-Palestinian Relations and their Theological Implications


The ultimate irony. A quality without which none of us could survive or thrive, a prevalent paradox has gone completely unnoticed due to prejudice and ignorance. Could it be that I, a layman and novice in the political fold, has stumbled upon one of the most incongruous and self-contradictory principles in Evangelical American-Israeli foreign policy? While I'd like to once again assert my own novelty to the subject matter, I cannot resist proffering my opinion. 

Jesus of Nazareth, known almost ubiquitously under different titles of authority and relevance, is indirectly influencing the cartography and allegiances of Middle-Eastern society. Alliances fashioned, ideologies fossilized, conspiracies contrived; enmity established. Why and how does he do this from beyond the grave. No, Abrahamic monotheists, I am not conceding the definite existence of this eccentric preacher or his eschatological involution. Don't throw your arms about in an ecstatic stupor. Turn your eyes to the following - an essential meditation. 

While I do not advocate even more romanticizing of Islam, the theological tenets of Christianity and Islam are more similar to each other than to their Jewish counterpart. Christian fundamentalists and Jewish fanatics have celebrated their coalition in hopes of having the messiah return. The fact that that verb is employed should be enough to raise suspicion. Traditional Jewish scripture (among many other incompatibilities) has two fundamental problems with Christian theology: Pauline doctrine of justification by faith, and the concept of a revenant messiah. 

Saul of Tarsus who purportedly encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus in a vision (much more symptomatic of an epileptic seizure; take it from someone who knows) proclaimed that one need not have their humanity and salvation contingent upon the nature of their moral conduct and beneficence on this earth - so long as you believe and accept the doctrine of vicarious redemption by human sacrifice, you live under grace and will be acceded into paradise. Apart from the obviously appalling Christian actions that have since been performed based off of this absurd premise, it is completely irreconcilable with the precepts of the Pentateuch and other Judaica. In addition, the more relevant issue pertains to the idea of a messiah (aside from being labeled divine) who will need to come back to earth because his initial efforts were unsuccessful. Per Jewish canon, the messiah will unite all the chosen people in the holy land and reign having established peace on earth - with slight cultural preference and advantage to the children of Abraham, of course. Among many other accurate and cogent objections, this would discredit the Nazarene's claims to religious authority in this world. Yet, smarmy ecumenicism reigns supreme and the coalescence of theocratic nutbags persists. 

Conversely, the Islamic tradition does believe in the return of the Messiah; specifically, Jesus son of Mary. While there have been plenty discrepant accounts and needless sources of theological disagreement about this man's provenance and power, he remains a salient character in both faiths. Portions of the Hadith describe scenarios in which all Jews will be targeted and discriminated (putting it mildly). Fatuous stories about the end of days, when Jews will attempt to hide behind flora to escape the wrath of an omnipotent creator, only for trees to betray them and decry their location to the all foreseeing monoglot - Allah. This hardly seems benevolent or sensitive to the Jews, and probably more congruous with the age-old spirit of Christian antisemitism. After all, it was only recently that the cosmological accusation of deicide was revoked by the Catholic Church; from some Jews. 

In short, both of these parties wish for the second visitation of this inanely ascetic priest. One would think that this would shift evangelical sympathies to the Arabs, thereby persecuting Israelis. I am compelled to mentioned that I do not desire the subjugation or blacklisting of any tribe; an opinion not so common among messianic zealots. 

It is my position that this ordeal would have been settled and a compromise would have been reached much sooner if the nature of the conflict had been purely secular. There is no solution as long of the parties of god maintain a veto on public affairs, a plain fact that continues to elude political leaders and figureheads.

Not wanting to make light of the situation, I humbly submit this to you

A perfidious primate

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